10 of the Worst Names Ever

May 22, 2007

Here's the thing, you have to get a license to drive a car but they let anyone be a parent. And, more pertinent to this conversation, they let anyone, may I repeat, ANYONE name their kid. So, while that might have some VERY unfortunate consequences for a few unlucky kids, it provides serious entertainment for those of us with parents who actually put some thought into naming us. With that in mind, here are 10 of the worst names ever. Seriously, these parents should be locked up... (and what the hell is wrong with Missouri?)


  1. John Koffman (Murfreesboro, TN) - His friends call him Jack...
  2. Sharonda Cox (Saint Louis, MO) - It might be pronounced ShaRONda but it sure looks like "sharin' da" to me...
  3. Justin Butts (Springfield, MO) - I'll take gay jokes and monthly therapy bills for a lifetime please, Alex.
  4. Harry Ball (Castle Rock, CO) - Insert pretty much any joke here. Seriously, Harry's lucky he made it out of middle school.
  5. Amanda Buttram (Conway, MO) - I know, I know, I didn't believe it myself at first. But trust me, it gets worse (or funnier depending how sadistic you are).
  6. M. Y. Butt (Saint Louis, MO) - When did St. Louis decide it hated babies?
  7. Richard Large (Eufaula, AL) - Good ole' Dick might have hated filling out forms last name first but I'm guessing Richard Little (Saint Louis, MO) would probably be willing to trade.
  8. Ben Dover (Nineveh, IN) - I wish I were kidding. Look it up. Shouldn't there be some sort of mercy rule for this type of thing?
  9. Gayford Buttram (Niangua, MO) - And the Buttram family makes their second appearance on the list. Here's a tip, if your last name includes the word Butt in it (in which case, again, I'm sorry) please for the love of everything holy don't put the word "gay" anywhere near your poor kid's name. You know... not that there's anything wrong with that.
  10. And last but certainly not least we have Michael Huntsucker (Kansas City, MO) - $1,000 and my first born child says he doesn't go by Mike.

Have a Hilarious Name that We Missed?

Know of other hilarious names? Feel free to share by filling out the form below!

{ 162 comments }

Jax June 28, 2009 at 1:41 am

Okay. I once met Ima Whore. I also met Anita Bra. This one isn’t so bad, but I dated a guy who’s last name was Nuter. (As in ‘fixing’ a male dog or cat) I have to mention Band of Brothers here, Joe Malarky and Bill Guarnere were best freinds. guess what they called Bill sometimes? Gonorrhea. Why? Because with his accent it sounded like he was saying that. Malarky and Gonorrhea, gotta love it. XD

name123 June 29, 2009 at 8:34 pm

Worst name ever richard dangler aka dick dangler

1234 June 29, 2009 at 8:44 pm

i know someone named Sunny Anne Clear also sister Crysal Clear

pj July 15, 2009 at 11:56 am

i worked with a chap who’s second name was “Mass” and his parents had called him “Chris”

friendy July 16, 2009 at 10:37 pm

One of my freinds knew someone from his other school named Anita Bathe. We also had a substitute teacher named Mrs. Broomhead, and another one named Mrs. DuBois.

pezzz July 17, 2009 at 1:19 am

Had a teacher whos first name was always secret but we all knew it!
Yorrick Hunt

john July 25, 2009 at 12:27 am

Didn’t any of ya’ll ever watch the Oprah Winfrey show the time she had a few people who had the worst names in the world with some of them being
1. Anita Dick
2.Dick Hurtzzzzz
3.Harry Butts

Teresa July 31, 2009 at 1:33 am

Germany may have something going with their Naming Laws, names which can cause undue teasing, embrassment or be degrading can be turned down the Registar’s Office.

Luke Titley August 11, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Literally the best name. Two girls at my old school.

#1 Iona Hore
#2 Emma Royd

me August 18, 2009 at 2:16 am

my dentists name is Harry Peach no joke

Corb September 3, 2009 at 12:36 pm

I work with a guy named Ramdass Summan We just call him
Ram. We also just hired a Dustin Potts.

ainir September 15, 2009 at 3:55 am

are oh eff el !
wow, those are hilarious … esp. the Mr. Bater dude one =P
thats hilarious .

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