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Hilarious Names —

Richard Lips

November 21, 2009

He was one of my dad’s students. Poor guy never went by Dick.

Verdict? Sad but true. There are at least 2 Dick Lips in the US. If I were them, I’d be REALLY careful to never wind up in prison.


Ophelia Cox

October 3, 2009

Ophelia Cox was a sweet old lady that lived down the street from me. Never questioned her name or her sweetness…

Until I got older :/

Verdict: Sad but true. In fact there are a LOT of Ophelia Cox’s. Thankfully people seem to be learning as they’re all over 50 and most are in their 80’s or 90’s.


Iona Bierhaus

October 2, 2009

Iona Bierhaus (Beer-house) was very popular in her college days…..

~ Kaitlyn

Verdict: Sad but true… There’s an Iona Bierhaus in Lewiston, ID although as we’ve seen on this site, it could have been much, much worse.


Richard Strain

October 2, 2009

This was my boss, and he even named his son the same thing. My boss went by Richard, son went by Richie …

Neither of them were Dick


It’s one thing for parents to give their kids unfortunate names on accident. I mean, maybe they weren’t called BJ’s back when I was born. Or maybe, the parents of these poor people just didn’t think it through long enough.

But parents who intentionally decide to be funny and/or clever with their kids names should be punched in the face every time they introduce their children.

Here are 10 names that are so bad they had to have been done on purpose. Why these parents thought it was a good idea, I’ll never know. But I’m betting the people that came up with the last name on our list were high.

  1. Rusty Pipes (Airway Heights, WA) – Rusty always felt his parents pressured him to take over the family plumbing business a little too early in life.
  2. Mercedes Benz (Cypress, TX) – Who knew that the famous Janis Joplin song was actually about human trafficking?
  3. Phil McCracken (Weed, CA) – How many wedgies a day do you think poor Phil got at school? 10? 20? Let’s just pray he never goes to jail.
  4. Dusty Rhodes (Ada, OK) – In Oklahoma there are plenty of dusty roads but only one of ’em is a person.
  5. Anita Morehead (Garland, TX) – This should be considered child abuse. I’m not kidding.
  6. Pierce E Paine (Columbia, MD) – The best thing Pierce can do is become a doctor or go by Mr.
  7. Mary Christmas (Americus, GA) – There are actually quite a few Mary Christmas’s so all you parents who think you’re being funny & clever… you’re not. It’s been done. A LOT.
  8. Dear Beloved (Placida, FL) – How badly do you hope their middle mane is Lee?
  9. Candy Cain (Chicago, IL) – Do you suppose her parents were surprised when their precious little girl grew up to become a stripper?
  10. Mary Juana (Ligonier, PA) – Please Mary, just one last dance? I’d almost be willing to pay for Mary to move next door to Phil from #3, or at least in the same town…

Maybe parents should have to ask a class full of teenagers before being allowed to name their children. I’m bettin the poor saps on this list would vote for a law like that…


Another Mr. Buttram

September 30, 2009

My name full name is Chad Logan Buttram.

Unfortunately, I have never had the opportunity to get braces, I have a huge Adam’s apple, and I have to wear glasses.

As a child, I was also severely underweight. In sixth grade, I was 55 lbs and about 4 ft’ 9. I am now 17 and I weigh around 105 lbs.

Thankfully, I grew to about 5 ft’ 8. But, if you do the math, I’m still incrediblely skinny.

My life, it seems, is nothing more than a human punchline. I’m still not sure if I’m glad to have the opportunity to see the world for what it is, but it’s nice to now how it works.


Chad Logan buttram

(I usually sign my name as fast and as illegible as possible.)

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King & Chu Mei Wang

September 30, 2009

Sometimes the oddness is an accident…

I had a client once whose name was King Wang and his wife’s name was Chu Mei Wang.

~ KSmith

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I’m Calling for Ahor…

September 30, 2009

U know, I got a call from a lady. She wanted to know if there are any vacancies in my firm. She was looking to appear for an interview.

Its only after speaking to her I decided google “Worst names”, and that’s how I landed here.

After going through all experiences shared above, I truly believe I will walk away with the cake here.

When I asked the lady who called me her name, she said “Ahor.”

She was even kind enough to spell it out for me. “A – H – O – R.”

I could not control myself to take down further details from her and I hung up even though as a matter of fact there is a vacancy.

~ Ritin


Harry C. Beaver III

September 30, 2009

One of my father’s college buddies in the 60s was Harry C. Beaver III. So not only did that name happen once but it happened three times.

~ Gilly

The Family Silva

September 30, 2009

In Hawaii there is a family of Silva’s:

Sterling Silva, Hiho Silva, Quik Silva & Golden Silva